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| Just got home! |
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| First time sleeping in his pack'n'play bassinet |
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| Seems happy to be home to me! |
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| Achilles checking out Flynn |
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| Taking one of his first bottles at home! |
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Homecoming Photos!
Flynn's first day home. I couldn't help it he is so adorable and we were so happy to have him home with us!
Baby, I'm coming home..
On Friday when I went to the NICU Flynn no longer had his NG tube. He had pulled it out that morning and the Doctors decided to see what happened. He was put on on-demand feeding finally. He had not gained weight in a few days but he took what he needed to for the on-demand minumum that day. The next day I was at my cousin Emily's for her daughter's fourth birthday. While there I received a call from the hospital asking for consent to do the circumcision for Flynn. They do this when the baby is within a few days from coming home! I was so excited.
My poor boy was not happy when I got to the hospital later that night. I found out he had lost weight the night before as well which was not good. They upped his calorie intake to 24 cal per bottle and they told me he could be coming home by Monday if he gained weight.
Sunday I called the NICU for an update. My mom and I were trying to plan our day. We wanted to come to my home and do some cleaning to get ready for Flynn's homecoming if he was coming home. The nurse said he had gained and so it still looked possible and she asked if Chris and I would like to do the "rooming in" where we would stay in room with Flynn for the night at the hospital. Flynn would still be hooked up to all his monitors and we would be in charge of his care. Chris and I went for it. So that night we stayed with our boy for the first time. It was interesting staying. We did really well with his care and didn't really get much sleep though because it was in the hospital.
It took most of the morning on Monday but they finally discharged Flynn!! Our little boy finally came home! He did really well in the car which made me so happy. They told us it will take about a week for him to adjust to his new home and last night was a lot harder to feed him. He wouldn't take much of his bottles so he kept waking up a lot. Today we have to go to the store to pick up things we need like food and a hamper for Flynn, a diaper genie, and we may get a microwave bottle sterilizer. We were really funny to watch yesterday. We have no covered trash cans and we were not sure what to do with the diapers!
The only other concern I had before he came home was how our cat Higgins and dog Achilles were going to react but they have been great so far. Achilles is concerned every time Flynn fusses or cries, and Higgins hasn't made up his mind yet I think but neither is hostile. They both seem to know he is an infant and therefore need to be gentle.
Will post photos when I can. ^_^
Now that Flynn is home let the next chapter begin!
My poor boy was not happy when I got to the hospital later that night. I found out he had lost weight the night before as well which was not good. They upped his calorie intake to 24 cal per bottle and they told me he could be coming home by Monday if he gained weight.
Sunday I called the NICU for an update. My mom and I were trying to plan our day. We wanted to come to my home and do some cleaning to get ready for Flynn's homecoming if he was coming home. The nurse said he had gained and so it still looked possible and she asked if Chris and I would like to do the "rooming in" where we would stay in room with Flynn for the night at the hospital. Flynn would still be hooked up to all his monitors and we would be in charge of his care. Chris and I went for it. So that night we stayed with our boy for the first time. It was interesting staying. We did really well with his care and didn't really get much sleep though because it was in the hospital.
It took most of the morning on Monday but they finally discharged Flynn!! Our little boy finally came home! He did really well in the car which made me so happy. They told us it will take about a week for him to adjust to his new home and last night was a lot harder to feed him. He wouldn't take much of his bottles so he kept waking up a lot. Today we have to go to the store to pick up things we need like food and a hamper for Flynn, a diaper genie, and we may get a microwave bottle sterilizer. We were really funny to watch yesterday. We have no covered trash cans and we were not sure what to do with the diapers!
The only other concern I had before he came home was how our cat Higgins and dog Achilles were going to react but they have been great so far. Achilles is concerned every time Flynn fusses or cries, and Higgins hasn't made up his mind yet I think but neither is hostile. They both seem to know he is an infant and therefore need to be gentle.
Will post photos when I can. ^_^
Now that Flynn is home let the next chapter begin!
Friday, July 27, 2012
Found this and had to share..
I am not religious. I have faith in some kind of higher power though and so even I can appreciate this.. it brought a tear to my eye..
How God Chooses Preemie Moms Author Unknown
Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
... Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his
instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he
observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.
Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to
profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles.
"Give her a preemie." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God?
She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God.
"Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That
would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea
of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.
I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so
rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has
just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally,
she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says momma for the first time,
she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--
ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--
and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in
the air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
How God Chooses Preemie Moms Author Unknown
Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
... Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his
instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he
observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.
Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to
profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles.
"Give her a preemie." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God?
She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God.
"Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That
would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea
of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.
I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so
rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has
just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally,
she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says momma for the first time,
she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--
ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--
and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in
the air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Articles
Here are some articles I found on The Bump about Preemies:
The Worst Things to Say to Moms of Preemies
NICU Cheat Sheet
Advice for Surviving the NICU
The first one has a lot of things I've heard.. and I have to agree with how they felt when they heard them. Like when my son was first born, when I saw how many people on facebook were saying how happy they were for us and congratulating us it felt like a double edged sword. I mean my son was 2 months early and in the NICU and I nearly died. It didn't feel very celebratory to me. Unless you've gone through it yourself I think its hard to understand. We've been one of the lucky ones though. The baby that had our area before us was born at 17 weeks and did not make it. We've had a pretty easy go of it although he is taking his dear sweet time with the bottle feeding.
Going to head to the hospital soon. I'll update you all on how is doing. I am hoping he will be home before Football season starts.. which for us is on August 9th with the Broncos playing the Bears.
The Worst Things to Say to Moms of Preemies
NICU Cheat Sheet
Advice for Surviving the NICU
The first one has a lot of things I've heard.. and I have to agree with how they felt when they heard them. Like when my son was first born, when I saw how many people on facebook were saying how happy they were for us and congratulating us it felt like a double edged sword. I mean my son was 2 months early and in the NICU and I nearly died. It didn't feel very celebratory to me. Unless you've gone through it yourself I think its hard to understand. We've been one of the lucky ones though. The baby that had our area before us was born at 17 weeks and did not make it. We've had a pretty easy go of it although he is taking his dear sweet time with the bottle feeding.
Going to head to the hospital soon. I'll update you all on how is doing. I am hoping he will be home before Football season starts.. which for us is on August 9th with the Broncos playing the Bears.
Care Times and Physical Therapy..
Yesterday I spent the longest I've ever spent in the NICU. After having spent 3 weeks as a patient and going through hell and back I honestly had problems staying for more than about 2-3 hours for a care time with Flynn. Yesterday though that all finally changed. I was there from 3pm to 7pm.
I was almost late for his 3pm care time! When I arrived he was finishing up his physical therapy. She was doing some tummy time with him and I was so proud of him. When he heard my voice he started lifting his head and of course grunting more. His little grunts amuse me.
I was only able to get him to take 20ccs from his bottle at 3pm but and about 27cc at 6pm. The nurse said he took that at 9am and slept through the noon. I was told it really is up to him. That one day he will just suddenly be strong enough to feed out of the bottle all the time. I'm just waiting patiently for that to happen.
I was almost late for his 3pm care time! When I arrived he was finishing up his physical therapy. She was doing some tummy time with him and I was so proud of him. When he heard my voice he started lifting his head and of course grunting more. His little grunts amuse me.
I was only able to get him to take 20ccs from his bottle at 3pm but and about 27cc at 6pm. The nurse said he took that at 9am and slept through the noon. I was told it really is up to him. That one day he will just suddenly be strong enough to feed out of the bottle all the time. I'm just waiting patiently for that to happen.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
It is getting better all the time..
Tomorrow officially marks Flynn's gestational age at 37 weeks. The nurses are confident he will not be there past his due date. He is up to taking a bottle at nearly all feedings but its the amount he takes from the bottle that is the issue now. He needs to get a little stronger so he can start taking more of his bottles. He weighed in at 6lbs 6oz the other day so he is still growing.
When I saw him yesterday the had said he took 3 out of 4 bottles the night before. Not the whole bottle but something. He took his whole bottle at 9am yesterday and was awake when we got in at 10:15. It was so nice to spend time with him awake like that.
Flynn gets visited by physical therapy 3-4 times a week. We met with them yesterday at 11:30. The woman who came was the one that had gone over his Morgan test results last week for me. He for his age range had to get a 66 on the test and he scored just over a 67. So I was really happy for him. Yesterday she basically just reviewed the abdomen curls, and the hand exercises on his face with us as well as taught us an exercise to do on his feet. I learned that you don't want to poke them on the bottoms of their feet as this can result in making their feet too sensitive when they are trying to learn to walk. There are so many things I feel like I still need to learn. I guess that comes with the territory. The other exercises she taught us have to do with strengthening his neck. One has him sitting up in my lap and I support his head by holding onto his cheeks and then sliding him backwards, forwards, and side to side just a small amount and just for a minute or so so he can slowly build up his neck muscles. Then there is one where he is laying in my lap and I have to get him to follow my voice and face from side to side to help again with his neck but I think that also works on other senses too since he has to follow you.
I know I'm probably biased but everyone agrees he is adorable. Can you blame them?
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| 5 Weeks Old! |
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| Hello! |
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| Proud Momma |
Well I better get going so I can go see my little man today.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Big Boy Diapers
When I went to see my son Flynn yesterday in the NICU he was off the oxygen. I was so thrilled to see that. It also appears his neighbor may be leaving soon because they were giving him a circumcision. They told us that happens a few days before they leave. The nurse was also talking about formula with them.
Flynn has a new nurse everyday. They rotate so he has the same one more than once but typically it is a different one everyday. The nurse he had yesterday was very informative. She covered a lot of care tips for me for when he comes home. She went over signs of dehydration, and other problems. Also told me to clean his mouth twice a day which isn't just for cleaning but also to help with prepping him for a toothbrush when he has teeth.
The most interesting thing she taught me was that it is important to rock with him twice a day for 30 minutes. As a preemie he needs help with his brain development and apparently its been found to help with left and right brain function if you rock them. This should not be hard for Chris and I. Chris loves to rock. Just have to make sure he doesn't rock him while he eats or just after.
I spent part of yesterday working on the happier bits of his baby book. I really can't wait to bring my son home. I hate that I can only see him for short times.
Today when I went in he was still off oxygen which is great. They had told me yesterday he has mild lung disease which is actually the better end of what to expect with a preemie and the only way to fix it is for him to be off assisted oxygen for at least 30 consecutive days so it seems like today marked day 2. We shall see if he can stay like this.
The other big news today was that he is no longer in preemie sized diapers. The nurse he had today went ahead and moved him over to newborn size. He weighed in the other day at 5lbs 14oz so he is so close to 6lbs I can understand the move. Diapers go by weight after all. My son is almost 5 weeks old and finally fits in newborn diapers. He isn't long enough yet to fit in new born clothes but by the time he comes home he should be.
Before I go. Here are some of the photos from when he was little. This was after he had been there for over a week. I don't have any from earlier. Not available to share here. You can see how much he has grown in these.
Flynn has a new nurse everyday. They rotate so he has the same one more than once but typically it is a different one everyday. The nurse he had yesterday was very informative. She covered a lot of care tips for me for when he comes home. She went over signs of dehydration, and other problems. Also told me to clean his mouth twice a day which isn't just for cleaning but also to help with prepping him for a toothbrush when he has teeth.
The most interesting thing she taught me was that it is important to rock with him twice a day for 30 minutes. As a preemie he needs help with his brain development and apparently its been found to help with left and right brain function if you rock them. This should not be hard for Chris and I. Chris loves to rock. Just have to make sure he doesn't rock him while he eats or just after.
I spent part of yesterday working on the happier bits of his baby book. I really can't wait to bring my son home. I hate that I can only see him for short times.
Today when I went in he was still off oxygen which is great. They had told me yesterday he has mild lung disease which is actually the better end of what to expect with a preemie and the only way to fix it is for him to be off assisted oxygen for at least 30 consecutive days so it seems like today marked day 2. We shall see if he can stay like this.
The other big news today was that he is no longer in preemie sized diapers. The nurse he had today went ahead and moved him over to newborn size. He weighed in the other day at 5lbs 14oz so he is so close to 6lbs I can understand the move. Diapers go by weight after all. My son is almost 5 weeks old and finally fits in newborn diapers. He isn't long enough yet to fit in new born clothes but by the time he comes home he should be.
Before I go. Here are some of the photos from when he was little. This was after he had been there for over a week. I don't have any from earlier. Not available to share here. You can see how much he has grown in these.
I'm hoping the next time I share photos they wont be from the hospital. ^_^
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Life, or some kind of miracle: A summary of my pregnancy
I know I know it has been ages and I'm sure not many people are going to read this post but I need to write this down and I feel like this is a great place to do so. Maybe it will help someone?
Just after Christmas I found out I was pregnant. It was one of the most exciting things I've ever experienced. I was happy, scared and just about any other emotion you can think of. Everything went great. I found a great OB and the pregnancy was confirmed on my Birthday of all things. Chris and I found out the due date was August 15th based on our first ultrasound.
My morning sickness was never that bad so everyone was saying I was having a boy. At our 20 week ultrasound we found out that this was actually the case. Chris and I had been so excited about having a baby we had already been preparing names before we were half way through the pregnancy. We had picked Avery Helen for a girl and Flynn Jackson for a boy.
At my 20 week ultrasound there was a slight concern. The ultrasound tech and found an issue with the uterine notching. After the ultrasound I received a call from my dr. office stating they wanted me to go on a low dose aspirin and for me to come back for a 24 week ultrasound. The issues they had found we a potential early warning sign for a condition known as Preeclampsia. At the time there had been no real concern with my Blood Pressure at my Dr. visits. When I went back for the 24 week ultrasound they said everything was much better. In fact my little boy was now in the 90% tile and they guessed was about 1.2lbs already. I was very excited.
Around then I noticed that I was swelling a lot more. When I went in at 26 weeks for my next checkup they told me to try and put my feet up when I was at home. So that is what I did. It seemed to really help. I had to buy new shoes too.
By now we were planning for baby showers, daycare, and getting hand-me-downs from my cousin whose youngest was starting to grow out of his clothes. Everything still seemed okay. I was working out almost daily.
When you are pregnant there are lots of tests for your health as well as the babies. The Glucose test I had to take ended up coming back a little high so I had to go back for the 3 hour Glucose test. When I did that I was told one of my draws was abnormal and as a precaution they were going to send me to a Gestational Diabetes Clinic. I went and was told I had gestational diabetes. I told them I was told by my doctor that only one draw was abnormal. I guess this clinic had higher standards because they said all three were abnormal. They put me on a diabetic diet and gave me a blood glucose monitor. They told me this meant both myself and my son were prone to Type 2 Diabetes. I was admittedly very freaked out about this.
This was all at about 28 weeks. At my first visit with them my BP came back at 150/88. At this point I was pretty heavy too. I had gained a lot more weight than I had intended and it seemed like no matter what I did I kept gaining about 2-3lbs a week! The nurse I saw at the clinic said to take a shower when I got home and that could help with my BP. That was the highest my blood pressure had ever been. I went about life like normal well what I thought was my new normal until Flynn was born.
At 30 weeks we were going to start our birthing classes I was so excited. We were getting so much closer to August. The same day of our first class I got sick. I literally got sick in my garbage at work I was so embarassed. I almost went home but I figured since my class was at the hospital I may as well go. I thought my blood sugar was low and the nurse incharge of the class gave me some hard candy and I felt better.
I went home that night and ended up being sick most of the night and I had a fever. I already had 2 doctor appointments the next day and was actually feeling better by morning. My bp was in the 140 range at my OB visit. She told me to drink plenty of fluids and take a walk she said that would help. She felt I'd caught a stomach bug that had been going around. They said the same thing at my Gestational Diabetes appointment that afternoon. Although my BP was up again to 150/88. They told me to start cutting salt in my diet.
The next morning when I woke up I was sick again. My doctor had said to call if I was still sick and so I did just that. It was 4:30 in the morning so I had to wait to get a call back but she told me to go to the Birth Place, which is the maternity wing at the local hosipital. So we went to the emergency entrance. Something we had learned on our tour at the hospital due to the time. They took us up to the materinty wing. I was there in their triage room for 6 hours. My doctor came and she got all my results from the nurses and after about 6 hours I was released. I was put on modified bed rest, which means I could go to the rest room and shower, and told I had to go see my dr on monday. I spent a long boring weekend curled up on my couch during the day and in bed at night.
I was feeling a lot better that Monday. I thought I was going to get cleared to return to work. I went and saw a daycare with Chris that morning. We had finally found one we could afford and liked. We went to my OB. They took my BP it was in the 150s, they had me lay down on my side for about 5 minutes or so and when the nurse came back my BP had gone up. At this point I was once again sent to the hospital. Luckily it was literally next door.
They hooked me up to all the machines again and ran blood work and my Doctor showed up. She explained to me after I'd been there for about 2 hours. That they had found a high number of proteins in my blood work and combined with my BP being so high this was confirming that I had Severe Preeclampsia. This is a threat of seizures as well as other things you don't want. My local hospital was not equipped for my condition because it guarantees an early delivery. They had a helicopter pick me up and take me to Denver. The University of Colorado Hospital has a level 3 NICU and is one of the best hospitals in the country for my condition. They gave me steriod shots to speed up the lung development for Flynn. We were just under 31 weeks at this point into the pregnancy. It took over 48 hours to stabilize me.
That first night was scary. The stress of everything put me in preterm labor. I actually got to two centimeters dilation before it finally subsided. The third day I was there I was moved to a more long term hospital room. The goal was to keep me pregnant as long as possible. When you have Severe Preeclampsia you do not go past 34 weeks. At that point the pregnancy is too dangerous. They said typically when this condition becomes evident like it had with me they can keep the woman pregnant for about 7-10 days. The only cure for this condition is birth and its really not a cure it just seems to fix the problem.
Everything was going well until that Saturday. I had had been admitted on June 11th, on June 16th my Mom came to see me as she did everyday and she took me down in a wheelchair to get some fresh air in the garden outside the hospital. I was on modified bed rest at this point again. When she left my Dad came to visit and we played cards for awhile. It was almost dinner time when he left. I was talking to Chris via texts because he had gone back to work that day. It had been hard being separated he had been with me most of that week. But we knew he had to work since I wasn't working.
The next part is hard to explain but its what I really need to get down. I started feeling this discomfort right under my sternum. I called the nurse. They tried giving me tums and some other medicine for indigestion. I kept telling them that wasn't it but they said they had to try everything and the doctor on call was coming. The nurse admitted it sounded like it could be my liver was the issue but we had to wait and see. I was terrified. I told Chris I thought it was time, I told him to all my Mom as they live 10 minutes away and to get down here himself. Our house was about 45 minutes away. At first he was hesitant because he had to work early the next morning and I turned out fine by the time he got there it'd be a long night but he came, he realized I wouldn't have been acting like I was if it wasn't serious.
My parents got there when the doctors were trying to check my vitals. I couldn't stop moving and so they couldn't do everything they wanted. Anesthesia showed upped when they had finally made the call that I had to have a c-section. At first he was talking to me about an epidural but after assessing my state he changed his mind. He explained I'd have to be put under general anesthesia, They moved me to a gurney and took me to the OR. A nurse told me Chris had arrived but since I was in surgery I'd have to wait and see him afterwards but he was there. I remember having to wait to be put under because the surgeon was finishing up in the other OR. The next bit is vague.
I remember people. I remember Chris, and my parents, I remember my father-in-law was there. I remember my Mother-in-law and her husband were there. I also remember being wheeled by this tiny baby in an isolette.
I remember what was the next day, June 17th, and being told about when Flynn was born, the time and how big he was. My son was born on June 16th at 7:07pm and was about 3lbs 13oz when he was born. I remember having a morphine drip. I remember pain and the doctor pressing on my abdomen. I remember feeling the blood and being grateful I couldn't see it. I remember getting really itchy and they gave me benodryl in shots to my IV because I was breaking out in hives. I remember them saying it had to do with my liver. I remember having to be taken back to the OR and going back under.
I don't remember anything else until Tuesday June 19th. My parents and Chris were there. I was in a new room. I was in the SICU. The Surgery ICU. I was hooked up to all kinds of machines. My family explained to me that I had come down with a severe case of HELLP Syndrome. another complication of pregnancy. They had to take me back to the OR due to blood clotting issues. Luckily I did not need to be re-cut into.
I was told my organs had gone to sleep over the stress of being put under 2 days in a row. My kidneys and liver were not working. My liver came back first. My kidneys weren't working and I had a lot of water on my body and in my lungs. They had to insert a catheter in my neck and put me on dialysis. My first treatment they took 10 liters of fluid off me. My blood pressure was so high they could go that long. I had fallen asleep at this point. I'd been given something to calm me down as well and when I woke up I was on a respirator and had a feeding tube they removed the respiratory and put me on a different breathing apparatus. I can't remember the name. I also had too many doctors to describe here. I had to have dialysis the next day again, they took another 9 liters of fluid off me, and then again the next day. I was starting to feel better. They were able to take a day off and I got to sit in a chair.
During all of this Chris and I talked to the lactation nurses and I decided not to try and pump milk to breast feed. I felt like I was being selfish but really I needed to focus on healing. One night my nurse wheeled my bed up to the NICU so I could see Flynn without the anesthesia wearing off. He was so tiny but I promised him I'd keep getting better if he did too. We have both kept that promise so far.
I spent a week in the SICU. I was then moved up Sunday June 24th I was finally moved back to the women's clinic so I was on the same floor as Flynn. Monday the 25th they took me down for dialysis it ended up being my last time. They only took 5 liters. Over that week I'd had 5 treatments and they had taken over 30 liters of fluid off my body. People said I looked like a different person. From when I was admitted to when I was released I lost almost 50lbs. Part of that was the birth but most of it was sheer water retention from the Preeclampsia.
It wasn't until the end of that week that I was finally starting to show signs of my kidneys waking up. My blood work didn't finally start showing true improvement until Saturday. The Renal department, or as we all called them the Kidney Doctors, said I had to show drops of creatinine two days in a row. To give you and idea, my Creatinine was over 9ml on Friday June 29th, an average female adult should have between .06 to 1.1ml in their blood. Saturday that number dropped to 8. Sunday to 7. on Sunday they took my dialysis catheter out. During my stay due to my lungs and being in bed so long I was being treated for pnuemonia as well and so I had to stay in the hospital until I finished my antibiotics. I was released on July 2nd. I had been in the hospital for 3 weeks.
My son is still there. He is getting stronger and bigger everyday. He wont be there longer than his original due date but I'm hoping he will be coming home sooner. I've been staying with my parents in Denver. Since I'm still not working and wont be until Flynn can go to daycare which is not until the end of Sept. I am not sure I'll have a job to go back to. We will have to see what happens. I'm waiting to hear back from them again about that exact issue.
Chris and I are making it work as best we can right now knowing this is all only temporary. My blood work as an out patient has been great my last creatinine level which was drawn on July 9th was 1.7.. I have my outpatient Renal appointment on August 8th. I have to get one more blood draw before then I plan on doing it in the next 2 weeks. I'm only on blood pressure medicine at this point as my blood pressure still has not returned to normal. I was told it could do so quickly or take a few months. I am excepting it may never go back to normal but hoping it does.
It is all a waiting game now. When Flynn is released I will go home for good. He has to be able to drink from a bottle at every feeding and take the minimum amount of calories as well as not start losing weight. He has to not have a bradycardia or apnea incident for at least 5 days and sadly yesterday he had a brady again. That is when his heart rate drops significantly as a premie it should be around 150 bpm but it dropped to 77 while I was holding him. It went back up on his own but it still reset the clock.
I go see him everyday. I am going to go get ready to do that now actually. Since I'm almost unemployed I'll keep updating more. Now I have something to talk about again. My son and my new experience as not just a mother but a mother of a premie. It really does change things. I'll share photos tomorrow. My last bit is to say he is like a very tiny baby. He isn't made of glass and he is getting bigger every day. As of two nights ago he weighed in at 5lbs 11.9oz
Just after Christmas I found out I was pregnant. It was one of the most exciting things I've ever experienced. I was happy, scared and just about any other emotion you can think of. Everything went great. I found a great OB and the pregnancy was confirmed on my Birthday of all things. Chris and I found out the due date was August 15th based on our first ultrasound.
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| 2-27-2012 - 15w 5days |
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| 3-10-2012 - 17w 3days |
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| 3-17-2012 - 18w 3days |
My morning sickness was never that bad so everyone was saying I was having a boy. At our 20 week ultrasound we found out that this was actually the case. Chris and I had been so excited about having a baby we had already been preparing names before we were half way through the pregnancy. We had picked Avery Helen for a girl and Flynn Jackson for a boy.
At my 20 week ultrasound there was a slight concern. The ultrasound tech and found an issue with the uterine notching. After the ultrasound I received a call from my dr. office stating they wanted me to go on a low dose aspirin and for me to come back for a 24 week ultrasound. The issues they had found we a potential early warning sign for a condition known as Preeclampsia. At the time there had been no real concern with my Blood Pressure at my Dr. visits. When I went back for the 24 week ultrasound they said everything was much better. In fact my little boy was now in the 90% tile and they guessed was about 1.2lbs already. I was very excited.
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| Mom, Me, Baby Seth - 4-28-2012 |
Around then I noticed that I was swelling a lot more. When I went in at 26 weeks for my next checkup they told me to try and put my feet up when I was at home. So that is what I did. It seemed to really help. I had to buy new shoes too.
By now we were planning for baby showers, daycare, and getting hand-me-downs from my cousin whose youngest was starting to grow out of his clothes. Everything still seemed okay. I was working out almost daily.
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| 5-20-2012 - Dallas and Christine's Wedding my last big outing |
When you are pregnant there are lots of tests for your health as well as the babies. The Glucose test I had to take ended up coming back a little high so I had to go back for the 3 hour Glucose test. When I did that I was told one of my draws was abnormal and as a precaution they were going to send me to a Gestational Diabetes Clinic. I went and was told I had gestational diabetes. I told them I was told by my doctor that only one draw was abnormal. I guess this clinic had higher standards because they said all three were abnormal. They put me on a diabetic diet and gave me a blood glucose monitor. They told me this meant both myself and my son were prone to Type 2 Diabetes. I was admittedly very freaked out about this.
This was all at about 28 weeks. At my first visit with them my BP came back at 150/88. At this point I was pretty heavy too. I had gained a lot more weight than I had intended and it seemed like no matter what I did I kept gaining about 2-3lbs a week! The nurse I saw at the clinic said to take a shower when I got home and that could help with my BP. That was the highest my blood pressure had ever been. I went about life like normal well what I thought was my new normal until Flynn was born.
At 30 weeks we were going to start our birthing classes I was so excited. We were getting so much closer to August. The same day of our first class I got sick. I literally got sick in my garbage at work I was so embarassed. I almost went home but I figured since my class was at the hospital I may as well go. I thought my blood sugar was low and the nurse incharge of the class gave me some hard candy and I felt better.
I went home that night and ended up being sick most of the night and I had a fever. I already had 2 doctor appointments the next day and was actually feeling better by morning. My bp was in the 140 range at my OB visit. She told me to drink plenty of fluids and take a walk she said that would help. She felt I'd caught a stomach bug that had been going around. They said the same thing at my Gestational Diabetes appointment that afternoon. Although my BP was up again to 150/88. They told me to start cutting salt in my diet.
The next morning when I woke up I was sick again. My doctor had said to call if I was still sick and so I did just that. It was 4:30 in the morning so I had to wait to get a call back but she told me to go to the Birth Place, which is the maternity wing at the local hosipital. So we went to the emergency entrance. Something we had learned on our tour at the hospital due to the time. They took us up to the materinty wing. I was there in their triage room for 6 hours. My doctor came and she got all my results from the nurses and after about 6 hours I was released. I was put on modified bed rest, which means I could go to the rest room and shower, and told I had to go see my dr on monday. I spent a long boring weekend curled up on my couch during the day and in bed at night.
I was feeling a lot better that Monday. I thought I was going to get cleared to return to work. I went and saw a daycare with Chris that morning. We had finally found one we could afford and liked. We went to my OB. They took my BP it was in the 150s, they had me lay down on my side for about 5 minutes or so and when the nurse came back my BP had gone up. At this point I was once again sent to the hospital. Luckily it was literally next door.
They hooked me up to all the machines again and ran blood work and my Doctor showed up. She explained to me after I'd been there for about 2 hours. That they had found a high number of proteins in my blood work and combined with my BP being so high this was confirming that I had Severe Preeclampsia. This is a threat of seizures as well as other things you don't want. My local hospital was not equipped for my condition because it guarantees an early delivery. They had a helicopter pick me up and take me to Denver. The University of Colorado Hospital has a level 3 NICU and is one of the best hospitals in the country for my condition. They gave me steriod shots to speed up the lung development for Flynn. We were just under 31 weeks at this point into the pregnancy. It took over 48 hours to stabilize me.
That first night was scary. The stress of everything put me in preterm labor. I actually got to two centimeters dilation before it finally subsided. The third day I was there I was moved to a more long term hospital room. The goal was to keep me pregnant as long as possible. When you have Severe Preeclampsia you do not go past 34 weeks. At that point the pregnancy is too dangerous. They said typically when this condition becomes evident like it had with me they can keep the woman pregnant for about 7-10 days. The only cure for this condition is birth and its really not a cure it just seems to fix the problem.
Everything was going well until that Saturday. I had had been admitted on June 11th, on June 16th my Mom came to see me as she did everyday and she took me down in a wheelchair to get some fresh air in the garden outside the hospital. I was on modified bed rest at this point again. When she left my Dad came to visit and we played cards for awhile. It was almost dinner time when he left. I was talking to Chris via texts because he had gone back to work that day. It had been hard being separated he had been with me most of that week. But we knew he had to work since I wasn't working.
The next part is hard to explain but its what I really need to get down. I started feeling this discomfort right under my sternum. I called the nurse. They tried giving me tums and some other medicine for indigestion. I kept telling them that wasn't it but they said they had to try everything and the doctor on call was coming. The nurse admitted it sounded like it could be my liver was the issue but we had to wait and see. I was terrified. I told Chris I thought it was time, I told him to all my Mom as they live 10 minutes away and to get down here himself. Our house was about 45 minutes away. At first he was hesitant because he had to work early the next morning and I turned out fine by the time he got there it'd be a long night but he came, he realized I wouldn't have been acting like I was if it wasn't serious.
My parents got there when the doctors were trying to check my vitals. I couldn't stop moving and so they couldn't do everything they wanted. Anesthesia showed upped when they had finally made the call that I had to have a c-section. At first he was talking to me about an epidural but after assessing my state he changed his mind. He explained I'd have to be put under general anesthesia, They moved me to a gurney and took me to the OR. A nurse told me Chris had arrived but since I was in surgery I'd have to wait and see him afterwards but he was there. I remember having to wait to be put under because the surgeon was finishing up in the other OR. The next bit is vague.
I remember people. I remember Chris, and my parents, I remember my father-in-law was there. I remember my Mother-in-law and her husband were there. I also remember being wheeled by this tiny baby in an isolette.
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| Born 6-16-2012 at 7:07pm 3lbs 13oz |
I remember what was the next day, June 17th, and being told about when Flynn was born, the time and how big he was. My son was born on June 16th at 7:07pm and was about 3lbs 13oz when he was born. I remember having a morphine drip. I remember pain and the doctor pressing on my abdomen. I remember feeling the blood and being grateful I couldn't see it. I remember getting really itchy and they gave me benodryl in shots to my IV because I was breaking out in hives. I remember them saying it had to do with my liver. I remember having to be taken back to the OR and going back under.
I don't remember anything else until Tuesday June 19th. My parents and Chris were there. I was in a new room. I was in the SICU. The Surgery ICU. I was hooked up to all kinds of machines. My family explained to me that I had come down with a severe case of HELLP Syndrome. another complication of pregnancy. They had to take me back to the OR due to blood clotting issues. Luckily I did not need to be re-cut into.
I was told my organs had gone to sleep over the stress of being put under 2 days in a row. My kidneys and liver were not working. My liver came back first. My kidneys weren't working and I had a lot of water on my body and in my lungs. They had to insert a catheter in my neck and put me on dialysis. My first treatment they took 10 liters of fluid off me. My blood pressure was so high they could go that long. I had fallen asleep at this point. I'd been given something to calm me down as well and when I woke up I was on a respirator and had a feeding tube they removed the respiratory and put me on a different breathing apparatus. I can't remember the name. I also had too many doctors to describe here. I had to have dialysis the next day again, they took another 9 liters of fluid off me, and then again the next day. I was starting to feel better. They were able to take a day off and I got to sit in a chair.
During all of this Chris and I talked to the lactation nurses and I decided not to try and pump milk to breast feed. I felt like I was being selfish but really I needed to focus on healing. One night my nurse wheeled my bed up to the NICU so I could see Flynn without the anesthesia wearing off. He was so tiny but I promised him I'd keep getting better if he did too. We have both kept that promise so far.
I spent a week in the SICU. I was then moved up Sunday June 24th I was finally moved back to the women's clinic so I was on the same floor as Flynn. Monday the 25th they took me down for dialysis it ended up being my last time. They only took 5 liters. Over that week I'd had 5 treatments and they had taken over 30 liters of fluid off my body. People said I looked like a different person. From when I was admitted to when I was released I lost almost 50lbs. Part of that was the birth but most of it was sheer water retention from the Preeclampsia.
It wasn't until the end of that week that I was finally starting to show signs of my kidneys waking up. My blood work didn't finally start showing true improvement until Saturday. The Renal department, or as we all called them the Kidney Doctors, said I had to show drops of creatinine two days in a row. To give you and idea, my Creatinine was over 9ml on Friday June 29th, an average female adult should have between .06 to 1.1ml in their blood. Saturday that number dropped to 8. Sunday to 7. on Sunday they took my dialysis catheter out. During my stay due to my lungs and being in bed so long I was being treated for pnuemonia as well and so I had to stay in the hospital until I finished my antibiotics. I was released on July 2nd. I had been in the hospital for 3 weeks.
My son is still there. He is getting stronger and bigger everyday. He wont be there longer than his original due date but I'm hoping he will be coming home sooner. I've been staying with my parents in Denver. Since I'm still not working and wont be until Flynn can go to daycare which is not until the end of Sept. I am not sure I'll have a job to go back to. We will have to see what happens. I'm waiting to hear back from them again about that exact issue.
Chris and I are making it work as best we can right now knowing this is all only temporary. My blood work as an out patient has been great my last creatinine level which was drawn on July 9th was 1.7.. I have my outpatient Renal appointment on August 8th. I have to get one more blood draw before then I plan on doing it in the next 2 weeks. I'm only on blood pressure medicine at this point as my blood pressure still has not returned to normal. I was told it could do so quickly or take a few months. I am excepting it may never go back to normal but hoping it does.
It is all a waiting game now. When Flynn is released I will go home for good. He has to be able to drink from a bottle at every feeding and take the minimum amount of calories as well as not start losing weight. He has to not have a bradycardia or apnea incident for at least 5 days and sadly yesterday he had a brady again. That is when his heart rate drops significantly as a premie it should be around 150 bpm but it dropped to 77 while I was holding him. It went back up on his own but it still reset the clock.
I go see him everyday. I am going to go get ready to do that now actually. Since I'm almost unemployed I'll keep updating more. Now I have something to talk about again. My son and my new experience as not just a mother but a mother of a premie. It really does change things. I'll share photos tomorrow. My last bit is to say he is like a very tiny baby. He isn't made of glass and he is getting bigger every day. As of two nights ago he weighed in at 5lbs 11.9oz
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